Gary, a TikTok-obsessed millennial, moved to Bumblefuck, Nebraska, thinking he’d strike gold with trends. He opened a YouTube channel called “GaryGoesViral” and posted a 15-second dance to “Renegade” in a Walmart parking lot. The video got 3 likes. Undeterred, he tried “Dance with Your Dog,” but the town’s dogs all sat quietly, staring at him like he’d insulted their owner. Next, he attempted “Bread Art,” shaping sourdough into a Trump tower. The locals praised it as “a solid loaf” but insisted it needed more “crust tension.” Gary, desperate, tried “Silent Karaoke,” lip-syncing to Whitney Houston while the town watched in eerie silence. Suddenly, a man in a chicken suit started tap-dancing. Gary joined, and together they made a video that somehow hit 10 million views. The caption? “When you’re 30 and still trying to be relevant.” The end.
