Linda muttered “I am a magnet for delicious food” while staring at the cereal aisle, her voice rising like a caffeinated seagull. The cashier, a man with a mustache that looked like a defeated caterpillar, blinked as she slammed a $20 bill on the counter. “I am worthy of gourmet experiences!” she declared, yanking a bag of kale from the shelf. The manager appeared, sniffing the air like a detective. “Ma’am, we don’t serve affirmations,” he said, eyeing her neon pink yoga pants. Linda grinned, holding up a chocolate bar. “I am abundant!” she shouted, then paused. The store went silent. A single banana fell from the shelf. Linda caught it mid-air, tears in her eyes. “I am loved,” she whispered. The manager nodded, handing her a free coupon. “Just… keep the noise to a minimum,” he said, backing away slowly.
