Gary stood atop the park’s rusty swing set, shouting, “I am confident!” to a flock of pigeons. A yoga instructor nearby paused mid-downward dog, her face a mix of horror and confusion. Gary, oblivious, twirled and declared, “I am wealthy!” A nearby toddler burst into tears as a pigeon swooped down and stole his goldfish cracker.
“Sir!” barked a bicyclist, swerving. “Your affirmations are giving me existential dread!”
Gary grinned, dusting off his pants after tripping over a rogue frisbee. “This is just the universe testing my resolve!” He launched into a new mantra: “I am…” (pause) “…a relentless force of sunshine!”
A squirrel chittered, dropping acorns onto a bench. Gary nodded sagely. “Feedback is just gratitude in disguise!” He then accidentally kicked a trash can, sending it rolling into a ice cream truck. The driver yelled, “What’s your deal?!” Gary winked. “Positive vibrations, my friend!” The truck honked once, mournfully, as Gary skipped away, humming. “I am…” (pause) “…a certified legend!”
