Marla stood atop her desk, arms raised like a traffic cone in a hurricane. ‘I am calm! I am invincible! I am… a human disco ball!’ Her office had become a war zone: printers spewing confetti, a coffee machine hissing like a betrayed ex, and Dave from Accounting reenacting *The Lion King* with a stapler. ‘You’re not a failure,’ she told the ceiling, ‘you’re a glittering gem of resilience!’ Dave paused mid-lion roar. ‘Did you just call me a gem?’ Marla grinned. ‘You’re a gem with *issues*.’ The room stilled. Then, miraculously, the printer stopped. The coffee machine sputtered. Dave blinked. ‘Is this… peace?’ Marla nodded, trading her disco pose for a yoga stretch. ‘Affirmations, baby. Now, who wants to hear about my inner rainbow?’
