Jane paced her living room, whispering, “I am calm. I am patient. I am a master of dog obedience.” Biscuit, her poodle, wagged his tail while gnawing a hole in her favorite sweater.
“You are a gentle soul,” Jane said, stroking his head as he shredded her couch cushion. “You love me. You respect my property.”
Biscuit paused, blinked, then resumed chewing. Jane sighed. “Fine. Let’s try again. I am strong. I am wise. I am…” She froze as Biscuit dropped the cushion at her feet, wagging triumphantly.
“You little trickster,” she muttered. Biscuit tilted his head, ears perked, as if to say, “What?” Jane stared at the wreckage, then burst into laughter. “Okay, okay. Maybe I need a different affirmation. How about… I am hilarious?” She threw herself onto the couch, and Biscuit promptly curled into her lap, snoring within seconds.
