Kevin stood at the edge of the park, sweating through his “I Survived the Renegade Challenge” shirt, as a crowd of Gen Zers filmed a dance trend called the “Wobble Sashay.” He’d spent three hours researching it on his phone, which now had a battery level of 3% and a mental health crisis.
“This is just like *The Matrix*, but with more glitter,” he muttered, mimicking the dancers’ hip motions. His left leg went stiff, then his right. A toddler nearby yelped and ran into a bush.
“You’re doing it wrong,” said a girl in a neon fanny pack, pointing at his feet. Kevin froze. “I’m not doing it wrong! I’m… innovating!” He launched into a combo of the Wobble Sashay and a moves-from-the-90s spin, which somehow involved his shirt getting caught on a tree branch.
The crowd stopped. A silence fell, broken only by the sound of Kevin’s phone alarm going off. “Five minutes left!” he shouted, as if the universe would grant him a second chance. He flailed his arms like a confused seagull, then tripped over a skateboard.
When he finally stood, the crowd was gone. But on his phone, a new trend had emerged: #KevinSpin. It featured him mid-flail, captioned “This is why we can’t have nice things.” Kevin grinned. “They’re gonna remember me,” he said, as he stumbled off, still wobbling.
