Kevin stared at his phone, thumb scrolling like a maniac. The TikTok trend of the summer was clear: *The Cactus Wobble*. A dance so simple, even his grandma’s cat could do it. But Kevin? He’d spent three hours in his underwear, mimicking the video until his left leg looked like a broken wind-up toy. ‘This is art,’ he whispered, peering into the mirror. His reflection blinked back, unimpressed.
He posted it at 3 a.m. The caption: *”When you’re the OG of the Cactus Wobble (no cap).”* By sunrise, 12 people had liked it. Not great. Not terrible. Just… *meh*. But then, at 8:03 a.m., his phone exploded. A notification: *”Your video is going viral!”* Kevin choked on his cereal. The clip? A 15-second montage of him wobbling like a confused octopus, legs flying in opposite directions, face frozen in a mix of concentration and existential dread.
The comments poured in. *”This is why we can’t have nice things,”* wrote @DadJokes42. *”KEVIN YOU’RE A LEGEND,”* screamed @TikTokQueen99. His mom texted: *”Is this a new dance? Your uncle Larry does that at Thanksgiving.”* By noon, the Cactus Wobble had taken over every feed. Teens in Miami, Tokyo, and a guy in Alaska named Steve were all wobbling, their limbs flailing like they’d been handed a instruction manual written in hieroglyphs.
Kevin’s phone buzzed again. A message from @ViralManager: *”We need you for a collab. 50k views = $500. Let’s go.”* He stared at the screen, then at his reflection. The man in the mirror was now a meme. A trend. A *thing*. But hey—his left leg was finally working. Maybe this was the universe’s way of saying, *”You’re not a failure. You’re a cult classic.”* And honestly? That felt like a win. At least until his dog started wobbling too.
The end.
