Kevin McFluff stared at his phone, fingers trembling. The TikTok dance trend–“The Renegade”–had taken over the internet, and he’d missed the memo. Again. His roommate, Dave, chucked a frozen pizza at him. “You’re literally 23. Stop pretending you don’t know what a ‘dab’ is.”
Undeterred, Kevin lurked in the grocery store parking lot, watching teens twerk into their shopping carts. He mimicked their moves, hips swiveling like a wind-up toy. A mom nearby gagged. “Is that the new ‘Renegade’?” she asked her daughter. “No, that’s the ‘I Quit’ dance,” the kid replied.
Kevin escalated. He bought a neon fanny pack and practiced in the cereal aisle, juking left as a box of Frosted Flakes hit the floor. A store manager yelled, “No dancing!” Kevin froze, then doubled down, spinning into a display of gluten-free cookies. The crowd clapped. “This is better than the actual trend!” someone shouted.
By day’s end, Kevin’s TikTok had 10K views. His mom texted: “Are you in a dance crew now?” He replied, “I’m a pioneer.” But when he tried to trend again the next week, the dance was already dead. The new thing? “The Sipper,” where you sip juice while doing a robot dance. Kevin, mid-sip, realized he’d been outdone by a beverage.
He sat on his couch, fanny pack still on, as Dave tossed him a beer. “You’re the last man standing,” Dave said. Kevin nodded, then launched into a half-hearted robot dance. The beer toppled. “I’m still relevant,” he lied, as the camera rolled.
