Kevin stared at his phone, jaw clenched like a bulldog guarding a steak. The TikTok trend du jour—#RenegadeDance—had turned his life into a serial killer’s spreadsheet. “This is it,” he muttered, tapping the screen. “I’m gonna be king of the algorithm.”
His coffee shop throne was littered with empty chai lattes and discarded sweatpants. Sarah, his co-worker and only friend, eyed him like he’d just tried to hula-hoop with a fire extinguisher. “You’ve been doing that move for 20 minutes,” she said, poking his shoulder. “It’s not a yoga pose, Kevin. It’s a dance.”
“It’s a *revolution*,” he hissed, legs jerking like a wind-up toy. The #RenegadeDance required syncing to a bassline so aggressive it could shatter glass. Kevin’s version involved more flailing than rhythm, but he’d added a personal touch: a 180-degree spin followed by a headbutt to the nearest wall. “I’m not just dancing,” he declared. “I’m *transcending*.
By noon, the café had evacuated. Only Sarah remained, typing furiously on her phone. “You’re gonna get fired,” she said, glancing at the manager’s twitching eye. Kevin paused mid-spin, then launched into a new variation—kneeling, then suddenly standing, then falling into a heap of limbs. “This is the *evolution* of the dance!”
The trend died by 3 PM. Kevin’s video had 12 views. He slumped at the counter, staring at his reflection in the espresso machine. Sarah tossed him a muffin. “Next trend?”
“Maybe… the ‘I Give Up’ challenge,” he said, jaw still clenched. “It’s got *legs*.”
