Kevin stood at the edge of the party, clutching a neon fidget spinner like a sacred relic. The playlist blared ‘Renegade’—the TikTok dance that had allegedly ‘taken over the world’—and the crowd moved as one, their limbs stiff and synced. Kevin, however, had spent three hours practicing in his bathroom mirror, convinced he’d cracked the code.
‘It’s all in the wrist,’ he muttered, mimicking the video. His left arm flailed like a windmill, while his right hand did a jazz-hands panic. A girl in a unicorn onesie side-eyed him.
‘You’re doing it wrong,’ she said, demonstrating a jerky head bounce. Kevin tried to mirror her, but his neck made a suspicious popping sound.
The DJ paused the track. ‘Who wants to try the new challenge?’ he barked. The crowd erupted. Kevin’s eyes widened. This was his moment.
‘It’s called the “Mondays Are Murder” dance,’ the DJ announced. ‘You pretend you’re a detective solving a crime… while crying.’
Kevin nodded, already rehearsing. He crouched, pointed an imaginary finger at the ceiling, and wailed, ‘WHY DO I HAVE TO CLEAN MY ROOM?!’ The crowd stared. A toddler threw a gluten-free cracker at him.
Later, Kevin would swear he’d gone viral. But when he checked his phone, the only view was a 30-second clip of him mid-scream, captioned ‘When you think you’re trending.’
