Marla’s living room smelled like burnt popcorn and regret. She’d spent three hours practicing the ‘Spaghetti Slide’ TikTok dance, her legs twitching like overcooked noodles. ‘This is gonna blow up,’ she hissed, snapping a selfie with her cat, Mr. Whiskers, who stared back with the judgmental gaze of a thousand failed trends.
‘Marla, why are you doing that?’ her brother-in-law asked, mid-bite of a pizza slice. His face was a map of confusion as she flailed to the beat of a song that sounded like a kazoo duel.
‘It’s viral, Steve,’ she said, pivoting into a move that resembled a confused turtle. ‘They’re paying dancers $10,000 for this!’
The family watched in silence as Marla’s ‘dance’ devolved into her tripping over the rug, which had somehow acquired a life of its own. Her cousin Linda snorted into her wine. ‘You’re gonna be the next ‘Renegade’ but with more existential dread,’ she deadpanned.
By midnight, Marla had mastered the move—sort of. She uploaded it, captioning it ‘#SpaghettiSlay.’ The likes poured in… along with a comment from a guy named @DadJokes42: ‘This is why we can’t have nice things.’
The next day, Marla’s phone buzzed. A notification: ‘Your video has been flagged for ‘unauthorized noodle manipulation.’’ She stared at it, then laughed until her ribs hurt. Some trends, she decided, were best left uncooked.
