Alex stared at their phone, jaw clenched like a toddler confronting a kale smoothie. The TikTok trend—#BopOrDie—required users to dance like their life depended on it. Alex’s life did not depend on it, but their social media clout certainly did. They practiced in front of a mirror, arms flailing like a windmill with a seizure. ‘This is how you stay relevant,’ they muttered, spilling cereal onto their hoodie.
At the party, Alex approached the living room, where a crowd had gathered. Sam, their friend and self-proclaimed trend guru, waved them over. ‘You’re gonna kill it,’ Sam said, eyes wide as a puppy’s. Alex nodded, heart racing like a caffeinated squirrel.
The music started—a bass drop so low it rattled the windows. Alex launched into the dance, which involved a series of moves that could charitably be called ‘dynamic.’ Their left leg went north, their right south, and their torso? A mystery. The crowd gasped. Not in awe. In horror.
‘Is that… a tango?’ someone whispered. Alex, undeterred, added a cartwheel. It was mediocre. Then, disaster: their foot got stuck in the rug. They tumbled into a pile of nachos, sending cheese sauce flying like a volcanic eruption.
Silence. Then, applause. Sam screamed, ‘YES! That’s the vibe!’ The crowd erupted, filming Alex’s meltdown. By morning, #BopOrDie had 10 million views. The trend? A chaotic dance of failure. Alex, now a reluctant icon, stared at their phone, wondering if they’d accidentally invented a new genre: ‘Crashcore.’
