The man returned home to find his tabby sprawled across the keyboard, paws batting at the Enter key like it was a laser. He lunged for the cat, but the feline pivoted, tail flicking the mouse into a puddle of spilled coffee. The computer screen blinked to life, autocompleting a Gmail draft: “Subject: Urgent: My Employer Is a Cyborg.” The man groaned as the cat knocked over a vase, which shattered into a perfect replica of his boss’s face. By the time he’d mopped up the coffee, the cat had forwarded the email to the entire office, replying with a 30-second audio clip of a meow filtered through a kazoo. The next morning, his boss texted: “Meet me in the parking lot. Bring a ladder.”
