The TV blared infomercials as I slumped into the couch, craving peace. Then came the squeak—*squawk!*—from the living room. My golden retriever, Biscuit, leapt off the rug, a neon green frog squishing in his jaws like a chewy snack. ‘Not…
Reginald’s garage smelled like glue, regret, and a faint whiff of burnt toast. His latest project? A sculpture titled *The Gnome of Infinite Sighs*, composed entirely of discarded bicycle parts, a sentient toaster, and a rubber chicken named Gary. “This…
The camera zoomed in on Sir Fluffington III, a cat in a tiny chef’s hat, whisking a batter with a paw. The duck next to him, Dwayne, muttered, ‘This is a crime against humanity.’ The soufflé rose—then collapsed into a…
Jane stood in the break room, shouting, “I am powerful! I am unstoppable!” as she did jumping jacks. Her coworker, Mark, walked in. “What’s with the circus act?” he asked. “Affirmations!” she said, grinning. “Today, I conquer the world!” She…
Kevin memorized the choreography for “The Renegade” in 2020, but by 2023, he’d forgotten the steps. Still, he clutched his phone like a lifeline, filming himself in the coffee shop mirror. The barista, a Gen Z oracle named Priya, raised…
Greg stared at his phone, its screen dark like a dead goldfish. He’d charged it last night, but now it was as useful as a doorknob. The coffee he’d spilled on the keyboard earlier that morning had long since dried…
Mabel glued a soda can to a bicycle wheel, then paused. The result looked like a confused alien with a personality disorder. ‘It’s avant-garde,’ she told her cat, Mr. Whiskers, who stared back with the judgment of a thousand unmet…
The cat stared at the door like it was a riddle written in catnip. I jingled my keys, hoping the clink would distract it. Nope. It crouched, paws pressed to the wood, tail flicking like a metronome set to ‘desperation.’…
Gary stood atop the park’s rusty swing set, shouting, “I am confident!” to a flock of pigeons. A yoga instructor nearby paused mid-downward dog, her face a mix of horror and confusion. Gary, oblivious, twirled and declared, “I am wealthy!”…
Gary stood in the middle of the coffee shop, wrists locked in a rigid ‘W’ shape, feet stamping to a beat only he could hear. The barista, a woman with a tattoo of a dancing cactus, stared at him like…