Gary stared at the jar, its lid welded shut by 10 years of resentment. He tried the “twist and yell” method, then borrowed his neighbor’s sledgehammer. After 23 minutes, the lid finally popped off—only to whack him in the forehead, sending his glasses flying. The jar? Empty. A note inside read: “You cracked me open faster than my ex cracked my heart. -Love, Your Future Self.”
