Gary, a 32-year-old man with a forehead that shimmered like a disco ball, stared at his phone, willing the TikTok algorithm to love him. His current obsession? The “Crocodile Dundee Shuffle,” a dance so obscure it required a mime artist and a kangaroo. He’d spent three days perfecting it, punctuated by 17 bathroom breaks and one existential crisis involving a toaster.
“This is it,” he whispered, lips syncing to the beat. His living room, adorned with glow sticks and a banner that read “GARY RULES,” trembled as he executed a move so chaotic it might have been a warning sign. Then, his phone rang. It was his mom.
“Gary, why is your neighbor screaming about a ‘salsa dance war’?”)
He hung up, heart racing. The Crocodile Dundee Shuffle had 42 views. But then—ah!—the “Ice Bucket Challenge” was dying. A perfect pivot! He grabbed a bucket, filled it with lukewarm water, and stepped outside. His neighbor, Mrs. Peabody, stared as he drenched himself, muttering, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”
The next day, Gary’s video went viral. Not for the dance, but for the sound of his bucket clinking like a sad tambourine. Comments flooded in: “Worst. Challenge. Ever.” and “Who let the duck out?” But Gary didn’t care. He’d made it. He’d… been noticed. Until the town council banned water-based activities. Again.
The end.
