Greg slammed the printer tray, muttering, ‘Not again.’ The office printer—his nemesis—had jammed for the third time that week. His PowerPoint on ‘Optimizing Remote Work Productivity’ needed to be printed for the 3 PM meeting. He yanked the paper out, only to find a single sheet stuck in the gears. ‘This is the final straw,’ he hissed, pulling a screwdriver from his desk drawer.
The printer let out a wheeze, spitting out a folded memo labeled CONFIDENTIAL. Greg unfolded it, reading, ‘Effective immediately, coffee budget slashed. Tea only.’ His face contorted. ‘I didn’t even order coffee! I’m a tea person!’ He crumpled the memo, then froze. The printer had ejected another sheet—this one titled ‘Employee Wellness Survey.’
‘Oh no,’ he whispered, as the machine whirred to life, printing a third sheet: ‘Annual Performance Review.’ Greg lunged for the power cord, but the printer jammed again, this time ejecting a sticky note: ‘Please stop trying to fix me. I’m an Apple.’ He stared at the note, then at the printer, then back at the note. ‘You’re a Dell,’ he said. The printer whirred once, then died. Greg sighed, slumping into his chair. The coffee machine hissed. He stared at it. ‘…Tea,’ he muttered.
