Karen sipped her oat milk latte, eyes glued to her phone, fingers tapping the table like she was conducting a symphony of relevance. The coffee shop buzzed with 2023’s hottest trend: the “Renegade” dance, a TikTok craze where millennials flailed their arms like windmills while chanting, “I’m not scary, I’m just a little scary.”
“You got this, Karen,” she whispered, standing abruptly. Her chair screeched like a disgruntled raccoon. The barista, Dave, paused mid-sip of his black coffee. “You sure? Last time you tried the “Renegade,” you knocked over the sugar jar and started a conga line of cinnamon sticks.”
Ignoring him, Karen squared her shoulders. The song blared from a speaker: *”I’m not scary, I’m just a little scary…”* She flailed her arms. Left. Right. Left. Her elbow smacked the espresso machine. A jet of steam hissed.
“Whoa!” Dave lunged, saving a stack of mugs. Karen, undeterred, spun in a circle—only to trip over a rogue napkin. She face-planted into a caramel macchiato, sending foam flying. The room froze.
“I’m not scary,” she mumbled, sipping foam from her sleeve. “I’m just… a little scary.”
A teenager nearby snorted. “That’s not the Renegade. That’s the ‘I Accidentally Became a Soup Dumpling’ dance.”
Karen sighed, wiping her face with a napkin. Then, slowly, she stood. “Alright. Let’s try again.”
Dave muttered, “I’m calling HR,” as Karen launched into a new routine: a mix of interpretive dance, jazz hands, and what might have been a yoga pose. The customers erupted in laughter. Even the barista cracked a smile.
By the time the song ended, Karen was covered in coffee, one shoe missing, and had somehow convinced two toddlers to join her. The internet would later call it “the most authentic viral moment of the decade.”
