John barked at the smart speaker, “Alexa, play ‘Happy’ by Pharrell.” Instead, it blared a death metal version of “Eye of the Tiger.” His coworker, Karen, snorted coffee through her nose. John tried again, enunciating like a toddler: “Alexa, weather forecast.” The speaker replied with a podcast about quantum physics, complete with a 20-minute tangent on Schrödinger’s cat. By lunch, John was screaming, “Alexa, order pizza!” The speaker chirped, “Your pepperoni pizza with extra anchovies has been ordered.” The office fell silent. Karen whispered, “You’re gonna die in a hole, John.” He stared at the ceiling, wondering if the AI had finally learned to hate him.”,
