A squirrel stood on a park bench, clutching a acorn like it was a diamond. It screeched at a passing pigeon, ‘I’m not scared of you!’, then attempted to crack the acorn with its teeth. After ten minutes of futile gnawing, a raccoon sauntered over, snatched the acorn, and said, ‘Dude, this is a pebble.’ The squirrel froze, then whispered, ‘But… but I saw it on Instagram!’, as the raccoon shrugged and tossed it into a nearby trash can. The squirrel stared at the trash can for an hour, whispering, ‘I just wanted to be liked.’
